Prepare to be inspired. The Tall Poppy Project by Kylie Pratchett encourages you to take a good look at yourself to find what it is that will take your life from ordinary to delicious. This book gives you a holistic approach to bringing out the best in yourself, body, mind and soul. By encouraging you to explore the possibilities of improving your life through simple and incremental changes to diet, exercise, relationships, self image and more.

Base on her own experiences of redesigning her life, Kylie Pratchett, who went from forensic scientist to Holistic health coach, shares her tips on seeking out and making the changes you may need in yours. Encouraging you to embrace the wonders that are already there but perhaps not appreciated or utilised to their fullest. Making the most of life’s pleasures is something she strongly advocates and who wouldn’t want a piece of that action.

With a deadline for this review I read the book without following through on the excises Kylie includes to help the reader identify and work through their issues. I will most certainly be reading the book again and participating in the exercises next time around.

To be honest I found some chapters of this book were more relevant to me than others which was a relief, because I would hate to think I needed help in all aspects of my life. I found myself highlighting passages that were very thought provoking and rereading them over a few times. Here is one I wanted to share with you.

“…I too, am a recovering perfectionist. There, I’ve said it! You probably know people like me… obsessed with the clean house, needing the crockery to match and the cushions on the lounge to be set ‘just so’. Unfortunately this quest for perfection can grow its tentacles into every area of your life, and contribute to you feeling constantly under pressure from that nagging voice in your head.

On the one hand, you become quite the control freak, trying to keep tabs on everything that crosses your path. Of course when you are a perfectionist it is a short and slippery slope to judging other people just as harshly. On the other hand, needing to do everything exactly right can be a really good cop out! It can be an excuse to not even try.

How far then do we push ourselves? Generations born since the late 70s have been sold this notion that we can have it all. You know, the fabulous house, the husband, the 2.2 kids, the picket fence, the snazzy car, the lovely holidays and above all else the amazing career! There’s one problem with all of this: it’s sold us all that this is what success looks like. And it may well be for some. But if we are honest, it is highly likely that on a soul success level, success might look very different at least for some of us…”

With that passage fresh in your mind I would suggest that if you too would like to unearth the real you and start living a more delicious life you might want to get your hands on a copy of this book. It is neither preachy or judgemental in fact Kylie’s style of writing is more along the lines of a gentle guiding hand.

If you would like to try before you buy you can sign up to Kylie’s website and receive a free chapter of the book.

The Weekend’s Mini Missions

Saturday – Make-up and medicines (pills, ointments, antiseptic etc). Both these items are made from substances that perish over time. Although medicines will usually have a used by date some cosmetic don’t. Either way you need to do a regular declutter of, what is or what you believe to be, out of date products in your medicine cabinet, your first-aid box and your make-up kit. (Read here for advice on used by dates for make-up)

Sunday - Sunday is reserved for contemplating one particular item of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately, it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

Cindy

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother’s Compulsive Hoarding by Jessie Sholl

I’ll confess, it’s a bit difficult to say that I loved a book about someone’s painful life struggle, but I really did love this book. It’s beautifully written, easy to read, and the author cleverly interlaces story telling and factual information about hoarding.

The author, Jessie Sholl, lived with a mother who was initially a pack rat and who became a full-fledged hoarder after the death of her long-term boyfriend. But as Ms. Sholl makes clear, hoarding is just one symptom of a larger picture of poor mental health. Her mother isn’t just a hoarder and otherwise completely healthy and normal; not did she have great mental health prior to her boyfriend’s death. You only have to watch the show Hoarders one time to realize that the issue is way more than “For Heaven’s sake, clean up your junk.” Ms. Sholl’s mother is abusive, loving, capricious, unreliable, self-centered, indecisive, cruel, and generous, all at the same time.

At times, Ms. Sholl seems as stuck in her own efforts to break her mother from hoarding as her mother is stuck in continuing to hoard. Both repeatedly take their assigned role in this particular unproductive dance of push and push back. Unfortunately for her, Ms. Sholl tries repeatedly to clean and declutter her mother’s entire house in a major, exhausting effort, in the blind hope that once it’s clean, her mother will be able to maintain the house. Of course, just throwing away everything you can lay your hands on and scrubbing everything else with bleach does not solve any of the underlying issues.

Ms. Sholl final frees herself by 1) refusing to take her part in the dance any longer and 2) admitting to others that her mother is a hoarder and a woman with many mental health issues. In some ways, this very last section of the book is my favorite. I was a mental health counselor for many years, and one of my biggest beliefs if that you are never alone. No matter how crazy, how weird, how embarrassing your secret is, if you will let it out, you will quickly find that it is a secret shared by many, many of the people around you. In fact, Ms. Sholl eventually discovers that two of her friends have mothers who hoard. They could have been supporting each other all along, if they had been able to overcome their shame and let their secret out. I’m glad Ms. Sholl finally did let her secret out and shared with all of us, as well.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something you have kept for sentimental reasons.

Today’s Declutter Item

I bought this bracelet for my mother some time ago at an antique store in Seattle of all places but due to a problem in her arm she can not wear it so she gave it back to me. I had no desire to keep it so I sold it on ebay. I hope the new owner will enjoy and appreciate it. Australian Stirling Coin Bracelet.

Australian Stirling Coin Bracelet

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Catching lots of green lights when I was out and about today.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

The full title of this book is…

Absolutely Organize Your Family

Simple Solutions to Control Clutter, Schedules and Spaces

…now isn’t that a mouthful. And aptly titled at that as this book is full of simple easy to understand common sense solutions to clutter control in the home. The main focus is on organising life around the little people in your life. And as we all know “happy mother happy family” right so if the kids are organised life runs pretty smoothly for Mom.

Personally I found the information far too rudimentary but this is probably because I have been there done that and now my kids are grown. But for anyone who is feeling like they need a little help in this area perhaps this book will have the simple solutions you are looking for.

I did find this passage about memorabilia very true…

“You have to be reasonable about what you keep. It’s often said that the key to organising is making decisions. I completely agree with this statement and have seen it demonstrated with many of my clients. The people with the most clutter and the most old stuff can’t seem to make a decision to let go of the past.

I also applauded the idea that the author recommended involving the children in the decision making process. Children have individual needs and thought processes on what makes organisational sense to them. If you insist on them conforming to your way of setting their stuff up without allowing any input from them there is a good chance the system is going to break down quickly and order will not be maintained. They also deserve a say in what stays, what goes and when where there stuff is concerned.

Topics covered in this book range from finding solutions to the after school drop off point to keeping their art work under control, keeping their wardrobes decluttered on a continuous basis and even schedule planning for after school activities. So if you are struggling with any of these areas or others I haven’t mentioned why not see if you can find a copy of this book in your local library or maybe you could pick up a digital copy for your e-reader.

I would like to mention that this book was kindly supplied to me by one of my local readers Elaine Inwood who runs her own book distribution company called Capricorn Link ~ Books for better living. Thank you Elaine.

Now that I have read the book and written the review I will be decluttering it so someone else can enjoy it. I did promise it to a reader some weeks back and for the life of me I can’t remember who that was except that it was someone from Australia. So if you see this and know that someone was you please send me a quick email so I know who you were. It will be donated to my local library if not claimed.

Today’s Declutter Item

These were the first jewellery making tools I bought some years back and not very good ones were they. I have since replaced them with better quality ones. They are however good enough to do the odd quick jewellery repair at the thrift store. So that I where they are now.

Old Craft Tools

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

The Overspent American: Upscaling, Downshifting, and the New Consumer by Juliet B. Schor was published in 1998, but the information seems as relevant today as it did more than a decade ago. The book is geared toward middle and upper-income families, who seem to be caught up in a never-ending cycle of keeping up with the Joneses, no matter who the Joneses are.

“The Joneses” are our first error, according to Dr. Schor. In the past, our Joneses (or reference group) would be our neighbors, who all lived in houses about like ours, drove cars similar to ours, and likely had two adults and only one income. However, Dr. Schor asserts that today, our reference group is no longer our neighbors, many of whom we do not even know. For many people, the new reference groups are our colleagues and coworkers, who may hold financially very dissimilar jobs to our own, and our media “friends” that is, the fictional people we see on TV and relate to. It’s not uncommon for someone making $50,000 to compare their financial prowess to someone making well over half a million.

Dr. Schor also discusses the brands and types of items we buy as a way that we identify ourselves and show our “place” in the complex world. In my peer group, nearly all my friends have iPhones (“regular” cell phones are no longer good enough for us) despite the fact that they cost a minimum of $70 per phone per month, in addition to the purchase price. Everyone has a laptop, including the kids, many of whom have their own iPhones, as well. (Often the model that their parents have already upgraded from.) Plenty of our friends go on overseas vacations regularly. Frankly, it’s a lot to think about keeping up with. I’ve had several conversations with my daughters reminding them that because they attend a private school, they are automatically surrounded by people with more money than is typical, and that a trip to Africa or Denmark is not something that most families take on an annual basis. (In fact, I dismissed one expensive private school, which really was out of my financial league, in part because a European school trip is mandatory for all high school students. I didn’t go to Europe until I was 33, and I’ve only been a two overseas trips total. I don’t want my child going to school where it’s thought that such an experience is a must for teens.)

Finally, Dr. Schor talks about “The Downshifter Next Door.” This chapter focuses on telling the stories of various individuals who have moved away fromconstant pressures to spend – from people are embracing voluntary simplicity to people who have made commitments to stop buying so many material goods and services. I think this is the group that most 365 Less Things readers are trying to become a member of.

The last chapter contains nine points to help turn this financial, emotional, and environmental quagmire around. They are:

1. Controlling Desire – Stay away from places where you’ll spend.
2. Creating a New Consumer Symbolism: Making Exclusivity Uncool
3. Controlling Ourselves: Voluntary Restraints on Competitive Consumption
4. Learning to Share: Both a Borrower and a Lender Be – Love this one and definitely practice it.
5. Deconstruct the Commercial System: Becoming an Educated Consumer
6. Avoid “Retail Therapy”: Spending is Addictive
7. Decommercialize the Rituals – Christmas is a religious and family holiday. Don’t let the mall tell you how it should be.
8. Making Time: Is Work and Spend Working? Cut back on your spending and maybe you can change how and where you work.
9. The Need for a Coordinated Intervention

Lastly, I’ll leave you with this discouraging thought - which to me especially embodies the politics of the state that I live in – although remember that knowledge is power:

“The intensification of competitive spending has affected more than family finances. There is also a boomerang effect on the public purse and collective consumption. As the pressures on private spending  have escalated, support for public goods, and for paying taxes, has eroded. Education, social services, public safety, recreation, and culture are being squeezed. The deterioration of public goods then adds even more pressure to spend privately. People respond to inadequate public services by enrolling their children in private schools, buying security systems, and spending their time at Discovery Zone rather than the local playgrounds. ” (p. 21)

By Cindy

I usually reserve book reviews for Simple Saturday posts but I have made an exception for this one simply because I really enjoyed it. After reading several self help books about clutter recently it was refreshing to read the real life story of someone who has been there and risen above the lows of hoarding. The fact that the author Corinne Grant is a comedian adds a lightness to the story even though her frustration clearly shows through.

Although I have never been where Corinne was when it comes to clutter, the frustation I felt at times just reading about her struggle to get out certainly gave me a small taste. The joy I felt for her when life’s little slaps in the face turned into her passage out was most satisfying. Her story would give anyone hope that has found themselves in this situation and are struggling to grasp the concept that life doesn’t revolve around stuff. That memories are still safe without saving every little “sentimental” item you have ever attached yourself to.

Some quotes from the book…

“Irrespective of how it may look to an outsider, hoarders don’t just pop out of the ground fully formed. Hoarding isn’t something anyone is aware of until it’s too late. Hoarding sneaks up on you in the middle of the night wearing dark glasses and a false mousache and weasils its way in when you’re not looking.”

“It struck me that the difference between a hoarder and a non-hoarder was not how much of their lives they had failed at, but how many reminders they kept of those failures.”

On TV hoarding shows ~ “If all of this stuff had been wretched from me before I had sorted myself out mentally, you would now be looking for a psychiatric hospital for me.”

“…it didn’t matter that I still had some stuff that was probably worthless to other people, what mattered was that for the first time ever, I controlled the stuff instead of the stuff controlling me.”

The books ends with Twenty-Two Lessons in Letting Go and they are a great set of lessons learned by Corinne during her experience. Many of these lessons sound very similar to what I have been saying here at 365 Less Things for the last two years. You don’t have to be an actual hoarder to enjoy this book it is a good deterrent for clutter in general.

I checked and the book is available on Kindle so no need to purchase the physical book if you can’t borrow it from the library. Read and enjoy.

Today’s Declutter Item

This batch of snoopy items didn’t sell after two attempts on ebay but I am finally rid of them. I sent them to the thrift store.

More Snoopy items gone to the thrift store.

Something I Am Grateful For Today

It was nice to have a sunny day today for a change. The temperature was very pleasant as well, so win win.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

I have just finished reading this book and I have to say it was full of interesting insights and great tips on not only decluttering your life but how to clean up your finances as well.

The world financial crisis has caused many families to rethink the way they spend and what they consider to be important in their lives. Many have realised that living a life with less is a far better option than living up to their eyeballs in debt. Some of the letters quoted in the books show that many people have considered the wfc as a blessing in disguise that has made them realise the errors of their ways. People who have re-adjusted to a more rewarding existence that doesn’t include the endless and equally mindless pursuit of more stuff.

Peter gives his readers guidelines and exercises to help them take stock of how they measure happiness, how to rein in spending and facing up to the emotional side to our stuff. It can be a little confronting at times but that is often what it takes to help us see a way through the mess we have gotten ourselves into.

I highly recommend reading this book whether you need the financial guidance or just a little help letting go of the stuff cluttering up not only your house but your life.

For more information about the contents of this book click here.

Today’s Declutter Item

The items just keep on coming and every little thing helps, even something as small as this hole punch. Just another thing excess to our needs. This one went to the thrift shop. They kept it to add to their own stationary supplies. 

Hole Punch

Something I Am Grateful For Today

I love taking time to visit new places, I love having alone time with my husband and I love escaping from the everyday grind but I also am grateful to have a happy, comfortable, uncluttered home to come back to when my vacation is done.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Give It Up! ~ A year of learning to live better with less

by Mary Carlomagno

Unlike the title might suggest, this book isn’t about decluttering the material things in our lives so isn’t particularly in keeping with the subject matter of my blog. It does however does draw a parallel, as it is about decluttering life in general of excesses that aren’t particularly conducive to a healthy, stress-free, balanced lifestyle.

The book is about how Mary sets herself the task of voluntarily abstaining each month from a different “vice” that she uses in an attempt to keep life “manageable” and perhaps bearable in some cases. Coffee, chocolate, alcohol, multitasking and television are some of the vices she tackles, that if taken in moderation are harmless enough but overdosing on them can have a detrimental effect like any other substance abuse.

It’s a short, lighthearted read, amusing at times but carries some great insight about how we get ourselves into these habits, why we should get out or them and the difficulties Mary faced going cold turkey on a new vice each month.

I particularly enjoyed the chapter for December where in the mids of juggling her end of year work commitments, the festive season celebrations and Christmas gift buying she insanely chooses multitasking as the vice to abstain from. I got the feeling that

Mary Carlomagno

she may have learned more in that month than any of the others.

One thing I did have trouble reconciling was the photo of Mary in the back of the book. This picture (at the right here) to me shows a person for which butter wouldn’t melt in her month and the only thing she might do excessively is attend church. As it turned out she wasn’t as innocent as the photo makes her out to be.

I am tempted to add in a few quotes that Mary chose to include amidst the kaos but then you wouldn’t have the joy of stumbling across them yourself as you read the book. And besides I have already decluttered the book back to the Library.

Today’s Declutter Item

No matter how small the item it is still one more burden of possession if it isn”t being used.

Hubby's Unused Watch

Something I Am Grateful For Today

No matter how good of a time I have when I am away from home I am always grateful to return home again. To be in my own uncluttered home, to sleep in my own bed and to enjoy the peace of being in control of my day. And as is often the case, to be back with my husband again.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow